Lions and eagles and...wait, what the hell is that thing?

The second season of the UFL saw some notable improvements; a new team, an expanded schedule, flashier uniforms, and last but not least, (dun dun dun) the mascots.

It was a bit of a mixed bag, and I can think of no better way to express my feelings than by sharing a few pictures. All are courtesy of the UFL Access forums.

As this is a blog about the Colonials, we'll start with CT; the Hartford Colonials mascot.

"Are they waving at me? Oh god, they're waving. Keep it cool C.T. Just wave back. You can do this."

I was there when C.T. was introduced. Let's just say that the reaction was a bit underwhelming. He looks not quite so much like an eagle as he does an eagle's half-chicken cousin who dropped out of vo-tech. Note that the face is locked in a Wade Phillips-esque look of perpetual surprise.

Sad to say, he's grown on me, I think the turning point was this video, where the expression almost seems to have a look of faint terror. And this one clinched my acceptance of C.T. Our bird isn't the "strike terror into the hearts of our enemies" type of mascot: he's the comedian. Apparently he's also capable of light office work, which must come in handy.

And he's better than this...

Note: A Railroad Spike is a drink made with whiskey and paint.

I'm not sure what his name is. He's apparently a combination knight/railway worker/potbellied stove. Look at the dejected posture. He's been pounding railroad spikes all day, and he's tired. Ten seconds after this picture was taken, that little girl stole the hammer and kneecapped him with it.

"By your season tickets, your blood is forfeit."

Alright, maybe he's not that bad. After all we have this...guy. Only slightly less creepy without the long cape, the Omaha Nighthawks black-clad mascot is something out of Silent Hill 11: The League. If there are any missing persons in Omaha this year, I think at last six could probably be traced back to this...thing. It feasts on blood and soft tissues and answers to no name. To see it without its mask is to know madness. Ia Ia! Cthulhu fthagn!

"Fly free, my pretty. No, not near the Nighthawks' mascot! Agh!"

But they aren't all bad. I have nothing unkind to say about Boris(?) the boar, seen here releasing  a captured butterfly back into the wild. Don't ask him about it: he'll tusk you man. Tusk you good.

Boris the Boar seems like pretty boaring typical tough guy mascot, but is squishy enough that he can pinch hit for the comedic type if need be. The Tuskers came back from a 2-3 start on the season to go 5-3 overall. Presumably, this creature's moral support was a big part of that.



Last but not least, we have the Mountain Lions mascot, Mojo the (you guessed it) mountain lion.

This photo was recovered from a bloodstained camera on Rosenblatt field.

 He's mean, and his trash-talking on the UFL Access forums lends him a presence that the other mascots simply don't have. Mojo doesn't walk out of the locker room--he rides a Harley. Apparently the cat is capable of doing over forty push-ups one-armed. An athletic apex predator on a motorcycle is the stuff of nightmares. C.T. would only be half as tough if he came out before every game riding a live bear. Mojo is probably the only thing that can send the Nighthawks' mascot back to the musty crypt from which it came.