Maybe it was the Nyquil

I had a dream last night that the Colonials faced off in a snow game against the Miami Dolphins. They won 3-0.

I mean, I should be happy about it, but a single field goal between the two of them? Man, that must have been a really boring game.

Holiday Hangover

My wife and I arrived home today (after visiting relatives for Christmas) with a pile of leftover holiday junk food about three feet high. Which seems like a good way to segue into this story. There's other news to get to though, but since I did want to work on something lighter (ha!) for tonight, I'll just leave you with this quote.

"“He was constantly eating,” Florida State receiver Bert Reed said. “He stayed there. He didn’t even know why he was eating. He didn’t know it was a contest. He just was eating. Honestly … He was hungry, pretty much.”"

In heavier news, it seems that the UFL is still working its way through some troubled finances. And while I'd live to compare this to that post-holiday bill paying funk, I'm a little too worried about this to make light of it. It's inevitable that there are going to be some troubles in an enterprise this big and this young: pro sports are a hungry beast, and debt is inevitable at this juncture, but one would hope that there are still resources to draw from, and it does little for the confidence of fans, players or investors to hear that paychecks aren't being delivered.

Everything I've seen of the UFL thus far has convinced me that it can work. The question now is will it work? The beast takes a lot of money, and apparently it's still hungry.

A Jersey with Any Other Name...

...would still smell pretty bad at the end of fourth quarter.

(Blogger's note: I'd hoped to have a few pictures up with this edition, but holiday plans and travel have gotten in the way of finding those few perfect images to make this post shine. I promise I'll burn one Christmas present in effigy for the problem.)

Folks, it's the UFL offseason. Regarding that, I intend to do what any rational sportswriter does: panic. For the United Football League, most of the stories are going to concern expansion teams and player movement, both of which are being well-covered by sites like Fanhouse and by the league's own website, which has a long list of which UFL players have gone to which teams and/or practice squads.

So I ask you, where does that leave me? I mean, I can tell you that Fabrizio Scaccia is now a 49er (practice squad) but that's already been reported, and I'd like to pride myself on providing original content even during the long, dry months between now and next August. With that said, I've always loved looking at the names on the backs of jerseys. Some sound just about right for football, others not so much. I'm not talking about your Palmers and Smiths and Rices and Mosses. Those are pretty ordinary names (even if some are attached to some extraordinary players).

I'm talking about guys like Adrian Awasom.

As if it weren't enough to have a productive season along the Locos defensive line--having put up twenty-four tackles and five sacks, which puts him third in the league in the latter category--the guy's name is, well, awesome. He sounds like he could be a professional wrestler. Ask yourself, would you mess with a guy named Adrian Awesome?

On the flip side of the coin, we have the 6'9, 325 pound Mountain Lions offensive lineman Sam Lightbody. Now, ignoring the play of the Molo's linemen this year, this is a terrible name for a lineman. I mean, it doesn't even make sense. Lightbody must easily be the biggest guy on the team. At six-foot-nine, at least 20% of his body is probably visible while he's in a bathroom stall.

But the most unfortunate name for a football player in the UFL goes to former Molos fullback Tyler Clutts, whose last name is pronounced exactly as you think it would be. Imagine just trying to work up the confidence to hand the ball off to the guy, let alone throw to him. In fact Clutts (who was recently signed to the Browns' practice squad) never took a handoff, but he does have seven catches to his name. And yet, you just know what Culpepper was thinking the second the ball left his hand.

"Oh god, was that Clutts? I think it was Clutts! He...oh, alright."

No Blue Foot, Gold Foot post would be complete without including the Colonials. Sad to say, there's a distinct lack of really good or really bad football names, unless you include Tank Daniels (though I've disqualified him based on the fact that "Tank" is a nickname). The only player with a somewhat awasom awesome name happens to be yet another D-lineman: former AFL2 defensive end Maurice Fountain. Fountain tied with teammate Michale Spicer for the highest sack total on the team. In addition, it's fun to mentally add "...of blood." to the end of his name whenever you read it. Please feel free to do so now.

Now to see if we can lure in Pat Angerer and Ryan Mallet.

'Tis the season

Won't be long now. If you're like me, you're going crazy trying to find those last few things to make your season just right; rooting through the overturned kiosks and fending off the hordes of red-and-green-sweatered shoppers with the baseball bat you looted from the ruins of Modell's, and looking for something to fill that last pair of stockings.

If you're like the NFL, you're also in the busy part of the season and trying to fill a few shoes. There are well over 200 players on injured reserved in the National Football League, and numerous others with lesser injuries. Whether you're New England looking for another pass-rusher in your final push to the playoffs, the oft-injured Colts looking for depth at the runningback position, or just trying to sneak some talent onto the practice squad to build something for next year, the UFL has become the place to find those last-minute players.

Just take a look at former Tusker's defensive end Eric Moore. In his first outing with the Pats, Moore treated the Bears offensive line as if they were a bunch of old ladies at a black Friday sale, and Jay Cutler was Wal-Mart's last $3 toaster. Moore had four tackles and a sack/forced fumble on Cutler, and could be the present the Pats needed to get their underwhelming pass rush back into gear. The (grumble) Dallas Cowboys are apparently impressed enough with former Mountain Lions safety Andrew Sendejo that interim coach Jason Garrett is looking into giving him more playing time. Dominis Rhodes is... well, honestly I was surprised that he didn't receive a single touch in his first outing with the Colts this year, given the sorry state of their running game. Point is though, the once and current Colt's back is back with the Colts, and while I'm certain that his past history with the team has something to do with it (Rhodes was with Indy from '01-'06, and again in '08) I don't think it's out of line to suggest that his impressive play in Florida this year was enough to convince someone that he still had something in the tank.

Think of Rhodes as that rock solid fruitcake you got from Aunt Millie back in 2006; durable and full of energy.

Even more players are being signed to practice squads, which makes them seem like the stocking stuffers of the late NFL season, but those signings are deceptive. Heading into week fifteen, only a team with a serious injury problem or a noticeable lack of production in some area is going to be giving a new signing preference over a backup. After all, a second-string linebacker is more familiar with his team's defense than a recent free agent pickup. I think a lot of these teams are doing what my sister does each year: spotting a good deal and wrapping them up for next year. It may be too late to start some of these guys, but if the team likes what they see, there's a good chance they'll have a shot once they've learned the system. Think of some of these signings like that shiny new toy you got as a kid that didn't come with an instruction manual.

Your Hartford Col... New York Jet, Minnesota Viking, Houstan Texan...

We all knew these days would come. We've packed Quintin Demps favorite pillow, tucked in Lorenzo Booker's shirt and and told Emanuel Cook to quit slouching. Now they stand at the NFL bus stop and we're left to wait for them to come home during the holidays and bug us for money. And they say they'll spend it on books, but really, they're going to spend it on pizza and weed. I mean, really guys, your mother and I went to college too.

Yes, eventually your children favorite players leave the house stadium. It's a shame. Some may be back to live in our metaphorical attic and invite their lousy friends, the Tuskers, to stay up until 2:00 A.M. and play Super Mario Wii. Others, we can't be certain. Cook was a solid safety, and the Jets signing is understandable in that he's had prior (practice squad) experience with them, and now has some professional level experience under his belt Demps... well, he was only around for two weeks and frankly I'm amazed he was available at all. A good grab by the Texans. I think his loss of a roster spot to former Philadelphia Eagles safety Macho Harris in 2009 was more of a "type" issue than anything else--Harris being a larger, more physical type in the mold of (but not approaching the level of) Brian Dawkins than Demps was. Of course, we all know how that turned out.  Demps should be a step up from the lackluster play of the Texan's secondary, and I wish him the best.

I'm not sure what the conditions of either player's contracts were, but it has been reported that Lorenzo Booker's contract with the Minnesota Vikings is for two years, making it somewhat unlikely that we'll see him in the UFL next year. Smart move by the Vikings, who've been lacking a good pass-catching back since they let Chestor Taylor go.

It'll be interesting to see who comes back, who jumps ship and who decides to wait on the couch, playing Mario with their lazy stoner friends, the Locos. I wish them all the best, but sure won't be sad if I see any of them back in the blue and gold next year. As long as they stop slouching and tuck in their shirts.

Thursday night... are you ready for some football?

I am. Sadly, there isn't much going on late in the weeks. Sure, the NFL has Thursday night games late in the season, but those of us without the NFL Network are out of luck, and their live, online broadcast isn't so much a football game as it is two hours and thirty minutes of commentary with about two or three minutes of live play per quarter.

I hadn't realized just how much I'd miss late week ball games. Surely three games on Sunday would be enough to tide me over? Apparently not. That being the case, the least I can do is something football-related. That is why I pledge to stick to a regular schedule of updates for Blue Foot, Gold Foot, every Thursday during the off season. When the UFL comes back in August, I'll be looking into a more robust posting schedule then.

In the meantime, it's up to me grow this blog. There are only six of you reading this at the moment, and while I thank you wonderful half-dozen for your attention, things can only get better with more eyes on the screen and a few more voices in the comments box below.

Seeing as this is more blog news than it is UFL news, expect a post tomorrow with a bit more substance. Thanks for reading, and g'night.

Lions and eagles and...wait, what the hell is that thing?

The second season of the UFL saw some notable improvements; a new team, an expanded schedule, flashier uniforms, and last but not least, (dun dun dun) the mascots.

It was a bit of a mixed bag, and I can think of no better way to express my feelings than by sharing a few pictures. All are courtesy of the UFL Access forums.

As this is a blog about the Colonials, we'll start with CT; the Hartford Colonials mascot.

"Are they waving at me? Oh god, they're waving. Keep it cool C.T. Just wave back. You can do this."

I was there when C.T. was introduced. Let's just say that the reaction was a bit underwhelming. He looks not quite so much like an eagle as he does an eagle's half-chicken cousin who dropped out of vo-tech. Note that the face is locked in a Wade Phillips-esque look of perpetual surprise.

Sad to say, he's grown on me, I think the turning point was this video, where the expression almost seems to have a look of faint terror. And this one clinched my acceptance of C.T. Our bird isn't the "strike terror into the hearts of our enemies" type of mascot: he's the comedian. Apparently he's also capable of light office work, which must come in handy.

And he's better than this...

Note: A Railroad Spike is a drink made with whiskey and paint.

I'm not sure what his name is. He's apparently a combination knight/railway worker/potbellied stove. Look at the dejected posture. He's been pounding railroad spikes all day, and he's tired. Ten seconds after this picture was taken, that little girl stole the hammer and kneecapped him with it.

"By your season tickets, your blood is forfeit."

Alright, maybe he's not that bad. After all we have this...guy. Only slightly less creepy without the long cape, the Omaha Nighthawks black-clad mascot is something out of Silent Hill 11: The League. If there are any missing persons in Omaha this year, I think at last six could probably be traced back to this...thing. It feasts on blood and soft tissues and answers to no name. To see it without its mask is to know madness. Ia Ia! Cthulhu fthagn!

"Fly free, my pretty. No, not near the Nighthawks' mascot! Agh!"

But they aren't all bad. I have nothing unkind to say about Boris(?) the boar, seen here releasing  a captured butterfly back into the wild. Don't ask him about it: he'll tusk you man. Tusk you good.

Boris the Boar seems like pretty boaring typical tough guy mascot, but is squishy enough that he can pinch hit for the comedic type if need be. The Tuskers came back from a 2-3 start on the season to go 5-3 overall. Presumably, this creature's moral support was a big part of that.



Last but not least, we have the Mountain Lions mascot, Mojo the (you guessed it) mountain lion.

This photo was recovered from a bloodstained camera on Rosenblatt field.

 He's mean, and his trash-talking on the UFL Access forums lends him a presence that the other mascots simply don't have. Mojo doesn't walk out of the locker room--he rides a Harley. Apparently the cat is capable of doing over forty push-ups one-armed. An athletic apex predator on a motorcycle is the stuff of nightmares. C.T. would only be half as tough if he came out before every game riding a live bear. Mojo is probably the only thing that can send the Nighthawks' mascot back to the musty crypt from which it came.